The 12 Brainless Events and People of 2013!

Mr. Editor,

As 2013 comes to a close, it’s time to look back and pick the 12 dumbest people and events that had the greatest impact on ordinary Liberians because their actions continue to affect the Liberian people!

This year pick includes: Supt. Grace Tee-tee Kpaan, Governor Joseph Mills Jones, Rep. Acarous Moses Gray, Rep. Edward S. Forh, Police Chief Chris Massaquoi, The Liberian Football Association, the Pehn-pehn ban, and many more…

Ok, ok, before we get started, you will need a drink—so grab a beer and let’s talk about the 12 dumbest people and events of 2013— month by month!!

1) In January, Monsterrado Superintendent Grace Kpaan was caught stealing, oops, I mean, “safe-keeping” the Liberian people’s money in her personal bank account! Grace was remorseful after she was caught red handed. But as we all know, that’s how government criminals act when they get caught! (Re “Ignorant of the law: Monsterrado County Superintendent Admit Guilt in Funds Saga”)

2) In February, Rep. Edward Fraud was caught on tape saying “The money (US$400,000) in question must be divided among us; you eat some, I eat some!” But when confronted, Rep. Fraud said he was just “joking”!

In 2009, this same Fraud was accused of receiving large sums of money (lobbying fees) from  Harry Greaves, former Managing Director of the Liberian Petroleum Refining Company (LPRC)!  You can follow Rep. Fraud on twitter @YouEatSomeIeatSome! (Re “Rep. Forh Reacts to Recording Scandal)

3) In March, we found out that Ellen Crookrum and her boyfriend, Melvin Johnson set up fake companies to steal more than US$500,000 from the Liberian people (Liberian Airport Authority)!  Crookrum is now creating an audio book called “Government of the Crooks, by the Crooks, for the Crooks, by Ellen Crookum!” (Re “…Next Chapter in RIA-Corkrum Saga: Recouping Lost Funds”)

4) In April, LTA commissioners breached their fiduciary duties by buying flashy cars with the Liberian people’s hard earned money! Their shameful tradition of thievery and misusing our country’s meager resources will never stop until the President dissolve the entire commission!  (Re “Flashy Cars Amid Abject Poverty: LTA Ignors Excessive Waste..”)

5) In May, Matilda Parker, NPA Managing Director, was caught lying on her paper work (Asset Declaration Form), but she wasn’t prosecuted  for perjury because the Minister of Justice (Christine Tah) is spineless!  In 2014, Let’s hope Madame Tah undergo a spinal surgery to install a much needed spine in her spineless body!  My small brother is surgeon, he will do it for free!  (Re “..NPA MD Parker, LACC Spar Over a “Lie”)

6) In June, we found out that Governor Mill Jones was giving out “free” money (unsecured maco loans) to his LBA minions and market women because he wants to be the future President of Liberia (in 2017)!

Sure Mills Jones was chosen Person of the Year (Daily Observer) for giving out other’s people’s hard earned money, but when the chickens come home to roost, will Mills Jones use his own money to pay off ALL (90%) those loans that will eventually go into default?? Of course not!   (Re “Liberia’s Central Bank Governor to Visit Rivercess; Locals Expecting Micro Loans”)

7) In July, we found out that EU money (US$13 million), earmarked for children at Jackson F Doe Hospital was missing! The Minister of Finance says that the government is still looking for the missing money!  They’ve even checked all Stephen Yekeson’s bank accounts, but they still can’t find the money!

By the way, I think the government should force Yekeson to wear a GPS ankle bracelet 24/7 so we can monitor his movements around the people’s money! (Re” Liar, Liar (pants on fire): Liberian Minister under Fire after Hospital Denies Receiving EU money!”)

8) In August, instead of arresting notorious rogues (government officials) for stealing other people’s money and gas slips), the Liberian police started arresting prostitutes because prostitution is illegal in Liberia! Ok, fine… But look, isn’t stealing other people’s money illegal everywhere in the world and in Liberia too? If so, why haven’t the police going after all those notorious rogues in our government too?

Look, most whores I know are decent women who happily choose prostitution as a means to survive as best as they can without violating other people’s natural right to life, liberty and property.  They engage in a peaceful, voluntary transaction that leaves both party happy and better off!

But if the police must arrest people for illegal activities, why not go after our so called public servants who consistently violate the Liberian people right to life, liberty and property by stealing their money, gas slips, and restricting Pehn-pehn boys from earning an honest living?? (Re “Fighting Prostitution: Police Raid Targets Liberian Women of the Night”)

9) In September, we heard the Minister of Justice made a statement to undermine  GAC audit reports, but she refused to back her assertions.  We are still waiting for Madame Tah to tell us which audit reports “lacked sufficient” evidence to prosecute indictees! (Re “Justice Ministry Rubbishes Audit Reports, The New Dawn Liberia , Set 05, 2013)

10) In October, we found out that the Liberian Football Association (LFA) put a fox in charge of guarding their chicken coop! If so, then why are they surprised that Rep. Edwin M. Snowe has yet to account for over US$227,000?? (Re “Over US$227,000 Snowe Yet to Account”, The New Republic Liberia)

11) In November, the gasbags in our government decided to ban Liberia’s main mode of transportation (pehn-pehn) in the name of “safety”! Yes, they saved 3 persons! But the unintended consequences of the ban was disastrous for poor Liberians.

More than 12,000 pehn-pehn boys saw their working hours cut or are out of a job. Youth unemployment is major threat to the stability of our country but yet the gasbags in our government keep implementing one economically disastrous policy after another!

12) In December, we found out that Rep. Gray would support a bill making random drug testing on public servants mandatory…But look, anyone who have seen a picture of  Rep. Gray on the internet (FPA website) knows that Gray is a big time pot smoker.. The evidence? His sleepy eyes!  Sleepy-looking eyes are an indicator of heavy marijuana use..but yet Rep. Gray says he supports the law testing public servants for drug use and wants to be “the first” to be tested…Ok, ok, that’s fine , but be careful what you wish for, “hon” Gray.  Your butt may end up behind bars! (Re “Test Gray First” Daily Observer Online)

12a) Also in December, we found out that our Police chief  (Chris Massaquoi) aided and abetted a fugitive (Ellen Crookrum)! Because of that, the President told her boys (Executive Protection Service) to keep Chris far, far away from her!  And they did it, and they were caught on camera!  (Re “Corkrum Tape Fallout?  Liberian Prez Snaps at Police Chief”)

But the Police Chief seem surprised that the President is avoiding like him a plague! Look, when your boss starts to avoid like a plague in public, it means you’re on a short list and about to be shown the door! Hey Chris, tell the President you “hold your foot”!

Yes, we did some of the dumbest things in 2013, but let’s hope that history doesn’t repeat itself in 2014!

Happy New Year!

Martin Scott

Atlanta, Georgia

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