Happy Thanksgivi​ng!

Mr. Editor,

As we feast on our Thanksgiving turkeys this Thursday, it is befitting to take a moment to recognize the turkeys in the Liberian government: …Drum roll, please……..♫♫♫ …♪♪♪…♫♫♫

Turkey #1.  The Governor of the Central Bank of Liberia (Mills itchy beard Jones)! This jive turkey is dangerous for our economy! He plays Santa Claus with other people’s hard earned money (bank depositors) by taking bank depositors money, disguised as unsecured loans (micro), and gift it to lesbians and market women around the country! But guess who’s on the hook if these market women default on these unsecured loans?  Yes, you guessed right: you, the taxpayer!

Turkey #2. The Minister of Education (Pneumonia David Tarpeh)! This turkey has all the symptoms (inept and incompetent) of a sick turkey!  How about abolishing the Ministry of Education altogether and give the savings to each child, through his parents, specified sum  (vouchers) to be used solely in paying for his primary education.  The parents would be free to spend this sum of money at a school of their choice (Milton Friedman’s idea) Is that too difficult to implement?

Turkey #3. The Minister of Transportation (Tornorlah Varpilah)!  This turkey is economically illiterate. Basic economics tell us that when you restrict the supply of anything, prices will rise as a result.  But yet when the gasbags in our government restrict the supply of motorbike taxis (pehn-pehn) to certain areas, it comes as a BIG surprise to Minister Tornorlah that transportation fares rise! Don’t blame him, he skipped his econs 101 class for sex education class!

Turkey #4. The Minister of Commerce (Alex Addy).  This is another economically illiterate turkey. He takes credit for lowering the prices of other people’s private property (goods and services) in a voluntary transaction, but blames all the bad consequences (long lines, black market, food shortages) of the government’s disastrous price control policy (lower prices) on greedy business people!

Hey Minister Addy, is the government greedy for jacking up the prices of our passport, business registration fees, alien registration fees, LTA commissioners salaries, etc???  I’m dying to hear from you!

Turkey #5. The Minister of Gender and Development (Julia Duncan-Cassell aka Pinky). This is the BIGGGGEST turkey of the year! but she’s a fun loving big bird! She loves to party!. The other day, I saw pictures of her and the American Ambassador twerking without shame at her birthday party! But I’ve one question for this twerkey: Why didn’t she invite me?  Just kidding.. Anyway,I’ve got two questions:

Hey Pinky, what’s up with this thing about “women’s right”, “violence against women”, “equal participation of women”, etc?  Don’t you believe in equal rights for all, under our Constitution??  Either these so called “women’s right and equal participation of women” are bogus (redundant) or they are violations of the principle of equal rights for all…

Turkey #6. University of Liberia Goons! This is a bunch of wild turkeys who pose a serious threat to the rule of law in our country! If they don’t get their way: They hold LU administrators as hostages!  They throw stones at police! They block traffic! They stop productive citizens from going to work!..But how long are you going to put up this nonsense?

In fiscal 2011/2012, we spend US$13 million on their college education, but most of these turkeys are unable to put together a coherent line of thought!

I don’t know about you, but I’ve reached my tipping point with these wild turkeys! I want my money back!

Turkey #7.  The Minister of Justice: (Christiana Tah).  This turkey likes to puff herself up as a legal scholar and lecture us about how the GAC’s audits lack sufficient evidence to prosecute government crooks…but you won’t hear a word from her when the LU goons take over our streets and block productive citizens from going to and from work.

Hey Madame Tah, you cannot allow these hoodlums to infringe on the rights of others, costing businesses hundreds of thousands of dollars–not to mention the thousands of small businesses, yanna boys, school children, prostitutes, productive citizens who are being kept from going about their business! You need some balls, ma’am!

Memo to Monrovians: Do me a favor: Look around your house and find 2 balls…2 tennis balls or 2 ganga balls would be just fine..Just find 2 balls, put them in a sack and deliver them to the Minster of Justice, will ya??!

Turkey #8. Member of the House: Representative Edward Forh.  I can’t stand this turkey! In 2009, this turkey was accused of receiving large sums of money (lobbying fees) from dirty Harry Greaves, former Managing Director of the Liberian Petroleum Refining Company (LPRC)

In 2013, this same clown (Edward S Forh) was caught on tape soliciting money from Grace Kpaan, who was in charge of the Monsterrado County Development Fund.  After he was caught red handed, Forh said he was just “joking”!  Joking, my arse! Did our lawmakers ever lift a finger to investigate Forh for his unethical behavior?  Please…

 I’m so full of disgust over these government turkeys, I’ll probably just have fufu and soup tomorrow (Thanksgiving Day)!

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! (my southern twang!)

Martin Scott

Atlanta, Georgia

Related posts